Pain and the rains are the only two things that I pretty distinctly remember from my childhood. Pain of losing the battle of life so many times, before ultimately realizing that life wasn't a battle after all. And the rains that used to fall so pitifully on my self inflicted wounds, like a friend that chose to be at your side despite having the option of being anywhere else in the world.

That's how I slowly began to form my world, with failures that kept teaching me about life and its continuity, and forevers that kept falling upon me in the form of love being poured by the rains. 

Rat Race

And you can't help but wonder what love is. Why there is so much fuss around you, always. Why should we all be successful or die trying to be. Why should we follow the schedules. Why should we always be happy, or at least show that we are. Why should I know where I want to be five years down the line. Why should I be confident all the time. Why do I have to pretend that I love everybody. Why should I have up to date knowledge about what's happening around the world. What the fuck happened to Life? Living?

You know, I am going to cry right now. Yes. And I'm going to be proud of each tear that will fall from my eyes. Not because it's an act of defiance, but because it's an act of liberation.
I'm going to scream loud enough to break the walls of discontent that surrounds me every second. I will write about my failures and relish and celebrate each and every one of them, for they are the scars that have beautified my soul. I want to be sad, weak, and feel happy about it. I am not a god after all.

Yep, it's all confusing. They say, all of us are born with a purpose on this earth, but they say a lot of things don't they. I'm not denying my life doesn't have any purpose, all I'm saying is it's not a burden I must fulfill. It's something I must discover every moment, rather than being bound by it.

A Dream-Girl

And then you keep staring at the blank sheet of paper in front of you, with a pencil sharpened to perfection. Not because you don't have any thing to write about, but cant figure out how to express what you're feeling.

A young beautiful girl was standing in the middle of the park today, waiting for the raindrops to end her wait. While she was waiting, strong gusty winds were carelessly playing with her beautiful hair. It seemed she had been waiting for rain since a very long time,  because not many people wait for the rain like that as if wanting to give water to a dying memory, or love, may be, or  having something that needs to be washed away.

For the first time in my life I dint want it rain, I wanted her to stay there, in front of me, forever. The same winds that were playing with her hair, were playing with my memories too. I had seen beauty before as well, but only beauty can't make you fall in love, on the other hand, love can make anyone look beautiful.

And then it started raining, and she stayed there, smiling, caressing her hair. Before I could approach her, I woke up!

Dreams have a funny way of playing with your longing for love..

FIFA 14

FIFA world cup will start in ten days time. And as usual, I can't help but think about the memories of watching it four years back.

It had been a different world then. Second year of graduation college, excitement, enthusiasm, betting with friends about who'll win, who will score. And then there was a friend who loved watching it, but couldn't because of the odd late hour timings. and strict inhouse rules. I had voluntarily assumed the role of keeping her updated about the scores via text messages, it somehow made me happy to share the excitement of watching the game, and keeping her excited.

This FIFA world cup feels different in so many ways, and none of them are related to the game. Now it's the second year of Post Graduation college, and my shoulders feel burdened. That carefree attitude is long gone. Never knew, an attempt to become responsible would end up binding me in chains of expectations, of myself, of others.

.Many would say, it's just a game after all, I say, so is life!