DREAMZ

Hi Dreamz,

Cant miss to talk to you more than that.:(....how have you been??????.....no good smileys coming your way today..:P....well..i am going to be slightly vague .......coz am typing instead of writing....(we ll discuss about that later)

Mood is horrible....a common feature ...dese days....:P...but yeah....sometimes it gets tough to carry on..like today..especially without you//:((((

Several days have passed by, and i realize that you are the only thing thats keeping me alive, keeping me with a vision, which still can see good in this world..

Yeah i know, last time i promised you about something.....i remember.....well...yup i am back with some answers but have several other questions as well...:P......

To begin with, i would like to tell you that 'yesssss'......itz difficult....very difficult to live and to pretend that i am ok...... the picture that keeps playing my mind never gets the ending it deserved...n yeah....that bothers me....every moment, every second.........hmmmmmm..

Well....i am living someone else s life these days....cant get anything right.....thinking about nothing but how to live through an entire day.......things go mad....and i wonder......how i managed to survive when i was in school......had nothing to play with,, had nobody to talk to...it was just me alone....but still i never felt like this, may be the reason is that i dint have anything to THINK about as well at that time.........well.......yup....i try to not to think about anything.....plead for numbness.....but nothing happens.....no one answers....an i keep drinking this pain.......with a thought.....this will be over.....sooner or later.......:((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((..............

Yeah you talked about smile that day......well....
somethings look good when they are natural.....cant pretend i am alright when inside a part of me is dying.....
talking about people around....well ....i dont really talk to anyone these days.....and i am a little afraid to speak as well....no one seems to hear my silence..........and if anyone cant understand my silence....i cant give them the words .....:(....and that hurts me a lot....

Lately i have been trying to live like a foreigner to myself......who know nothing about me....about my future. about my past.,,,,,but the trouble is ,...:((((( in the process of fooling myself around, i forgets to forget about that feeling,,cz of which i changed my identity....:((((((((((((((((((((((((((.....

And its not just inside of me.....it seems that despair is in the air these days.....at home..at clg.....everyones busy....everybody is just singing the same old song.....may be in different tunes....but the lyrics doesnt change......

Yeah.....you said its just the matter of time....its all just in my mind....will be over soon....well....living on that hope....may be///as always u will be right this time as well.....and you u cant imagine how badly i want you to be right.....:((

I know....this independence day will be the worst i ever had....but this is the story of everyday now.....at the end of everyday i think....how worse can the next day be then this.???,,,n each new day brings in some new grains of sadness ....making it even more worse...:((((......

Hmmmm....i think i should go now......will talk to you soon........dont know when this hand will start writing again....:(..
bbyes for now..............